Keeping the Romance Alive

When it comes to romance, most of us picture sunsets on the beach, exotic getaways, nights of dining and dancing  and gazing into each others eyes.  Oh sure, those all can be very romantic, but let’s face it, romance like that doesn’t happen every day.  So what does everyday romance look like?  Have you ever thought about it?  I have.

This week I have been reminded just how romantic my husband is and how much romance there really is in our marriage every day.  John Gottman, PH.D and author of the book “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work” states that “real-life romance is fueled by a far more humbdrum approach to staying connected.”  So what does that mean?  Romance is in the little things we do for each other or with each other everyday.

Romance is when my husband texts me in the middle of the day just to see how my day is going.  Romance is greeting my husband with a hug after a long day at work.  Romance is when my husband listens to me as I tell him about how my Primary class went.  Romance is grocery shopping together or folding laundry or even doing the dishes together.  Romance can be a brief walk to the mailbox or  simply sitting together and watching a movie.  Romance is turning toward our spouse.  Gottman further states that “Turning toward (our spouse) is the basis of emotional connection, romance, passion, and a good sex life.”  And doesn’t that make complete sense?  When we turn toward our husband/wife we are, in essence, telling them that they are the most important person in our lives and that they matter a great deal to us.  We forget ourselves and concentrate on them, if only for that brief moment. 

  After moving into our new home we needed to get a tv stand, so my husband and I went and found a less expensive one that had to be assembled together.  We brought it home thinking that it would only take an hour tops.  Well we soon found out that this was not the case!  However, in those hours of working together we laughed more, talked more and both realized again why we fell in love with each other in the first place.  We just love being together!

We have had our romantic getaways, and have enjoyed many sunsets on the beach, but the romance in our marriage is truly through the everyday, humdrum things that we do for each other and together.